DieLaughing's Assisted Suicide Fund
if you can help dielaughing out at all, in any way, please consider doing so
In 1996 I was the youngest person working on Apple’s flagship OS that would eventually be released as X. I dropped out of college for the opportunity. Tonight I’m about to start another all night job hunt. Sleeping in three hour shifts every six hours is my schedule, will be my schedule, and will kill me eventually. I used to have my own business repairing computers. Then I was hit in a crosswalk by a taxi while trying to push an old lady out of harm’s way. I did not have insurance.
I became partially paralyzed and homeless, living in my car and with friends for two years. I met my girlfriend and soon to be mother of my baby a few days before settling my case and did not tell her about my situation. Being “compensated” for my injury, I bought all the computer gear I needed to reenter the industry. Able to build a large table-top multi-touch screen, from scratch, for under two thousand dollars, I contributed to open source projects and Twitter’d my little heart out. I collected various retainers and contract jobs over this time. My last client followed the lead of the last two before him and decided not to tell me that my check would not be coming because they had dropped my services, a few paychecks back, and to stop asking for money because they are going bankrupt. Of course I had been continuing to waste my time assisting their company and it’s employees when they call, as per my service.
I admit that I may have tried to save my independence by trying to save my business instead of looking for work, but it’s too late now. I haven’t been online much because I’ve had to slowly sell all my computer equipment to pay for rent. I hope some of the more hardcore nerds can let that last sentence sink in. I have completely cannibalized my personal and business equipment. I even had to dismantle and sell my homemade multi-touch screen for parts!
I helped my girlfriend leave a filthy roommate situation because she’s pregnant with my first son, Caleb. Now our rent is higher and my bank account is so low that I may have to sell everything, including my hard won iPhone. It was hard to sell all my expensive university lab quality supercomputer equipment, but it will be harder to face what I can’t afford to sell, like my iPhone with it’s cancellation fee.
I never thought I’d be online asking someone for money to help fight cancer, or some cause that has me motivated enough to come at someone this way, but I am in desperate need. I’m no longer ashamed of not being successful financially, or even with my business, and now I just need help. I understand if you can’t give $10 help me pay for sudden one-time-expenses like pregnancy check-up deductibles and my rent, but maybe you can give just $1 so I can afford to shut off my iPhone service without a bank overdraft fee on top of it. And if you have a problem with straight up charity, I can make you a custom t-shirt for $20, or help you with your code (any language, any problem) for $50. If I have made you laugh, even once, then hopefully you can justify in your mind donating a small amount. I started the DieLaughing account after having been homeless for two years and suddenly being back in a house with a girl and money. Something to lose. Something to avoid thinking about losing. I’m the guy who would have everyone at a funeral crying with laughter. I like being a welcome distraction to loss. Losing stuff is fine as long as we don’t lose ourselves or the common humanity we all share. Right now, all I can think of is those moments in movies where a damsel in distress is asking, or begging, for help. While I might be a comedian and not a damsel, I hope that beneath the obvious humor the power of these words do not escape you.
Please help. Please help me. You’re my only hope.
